When I'm all alone
The darkest place in my mind is my only home and I
Can't feel my bones.
This spineless journey to failure is tearing apart my soul
Did I cast the stone
That caused an innocent boy to become so old?
And now I'm growing cold
Struck by the fear that one day I might finally lose control
Overwhelmed by attachment and pain when I look back on my life
Can I say I tried? Did things go awry? Or did I just open up my eyes?
"Don't leave me"
Those words still ringing in my ears
Are the ones I truly fear
So how much longer can I keep myself alive
When all the drugs I've tried can barely hide the fact that life is all a lie?
I try to cover my eyes, when faced with what lies ahead
But I'll dwell on the pain, and welcome the shame, that comes while I lie in bed
I find myself in a room with my friends. Looking around and everyone's talking and smiling.
But I don't want to be here. I don't want to be anywhere.
Cause I'm too wrapped up in my shattered self-worth. Desperately trying to hide how flawed I am
I want to change it all. I can't accept reality
But maybe one day I'll learn to let go
This passing year
Has been the most distressing of my life
Those dreaded sleepless nights
That left me drained and apprehensive
I'll never forget
But this world is ever-changing
And I feel it in my chest
The time has come to put the past behind me
The lessons that I've learned
Will be the foundation
For something greater, where I will be
released April 4, 2013
all rights reserved